"Here I Am" Part 4

Only 36 pilgrims can go on a walk to Emmaus at a given time. The names of the pilgrims are on the website so they can be prayed over. There were only a few open slots left and I still hadn’t found a sponsor. What else could I try besides praying and pleading? I was experiencing peace about it and new that God would direct me, but I really was clueless as how to go about this.

Suddenly it occurred to me to reach out to the Emmaus community itself. I sent an email pleading my case. “I do not simply want to go, I have to go,” I told them. I do not remember what all I said, but it was short and straight to the point. Then began the waiting game.

I continued to pour my heart out to God and ask that my friends do the same so that I could make this walk. “Father, I know that the details are in your hands. I also know that I have such a yearning to be on this walk that could only come from You. So I pray that You would continue to prepare my heart for this experience. Expose all that is not of You that I hold in my heart and help me to release it all to You.”

Let me tell you something. When you ask God to “show you the ugly” and mean it, He will. I was almost amused at the rate He was showing me things. Not to mention they seemed so obvious. What on earth had I been thinking holding on to all of that?

It wasn’t even painful to have these things pointed out to me or to let them go. It was such a relief! (I have had some painful show-and-let-go experiences with God in the past, but that’s another blog!)  Little did I know these were just the little things. He was actually preparing my heart just as I had asked Him to do. While I was busy letting go, He was busy making more room for Jesus.

The empty spots on the pilgrim list were quickly filling up. I hadn’t given up hope but I was starting to revert to my very impatient self and getting frustrated. Out of the blue I received a phone call from a woman I had never met. I had such an excited yet peaceful feeling come over me as I listened to what she had to say.

Simply put, she explained that she heard about me through an email. At the time I assumed it was a friend of a friend that had emailed her about my plight. She agreed to be my sponsor and we made a lunch date for the following day. Only 2 empty slots left, but I am praising Jesus. I had a sponsor!

As I am waiting for Betty and Kayla (Co-sponsors it turns out) I’m thinking, “Man I am finally going to get some answers!” I was incredibly excited and equally incredibly wrong.

 I first asked who had emailed her about me. She clarified that she heard about me from the email I had through the Emmaus website! Betty explained that they never had received such a request so at the same time we were meeting, the leadership of Emmaus was meeting and praying just for me one state over! ( I live in Texas, High Plains Emmaus is based in New Mexico.)

People. People in another state. People in another state that I don’t even know are praying for me. God is so good and so faithful. I cannot help but cry. Praise God! I am crying, but these tears are not hopeless tears.

And the answers to my other questions? Yep. You guessed it. I got a “you are going to love it” and those big goofy smiles again. Fine. Great. (With less sarcasm this time.) I did almost ask, “Can you at least tell me if they have live chickens there?” Oh well. I really don’t care. I have 2 sponsors and I am going on a walk to Emmaus!